Dear Miss Manners: I have been friends with Elizabeth for almost 20 years. We met because we were both active in an activity our children were in. When we were on equal footing — both married, working, etc. — things were fine.
Five years ago, my marriage fell apart in a spectacular way that became the talk of the county. Elizabeth was so supportive during this time. About two years later, Elizabeth began an affair and eventually left her husband.
I supported her when a lot of people didn’t. Cheating was a big part of my marriage ending, so I told her it wasn’t something I would do, but we can be different people as well as friends. She has had subsequent problems, during which I have again tried to be a good friend.
After she moved herself and her children into a house she couldn’t afford on her own, her boyfriend left her. I again tried to be supportive.
Here’s the problem: While she feels like her life is spinning out of control, mine is going great. And it seems like the better I do, the nastier she becomes. I try not to bring up anything positive about my life with her, because then she says things that make me uncomfortable.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t know if I want to be close friends with this version of Elizabeth, which is difficult because we’re both still active in the same activity where we first met. We have moved in the same circles for so long, our lives are very much intertwined.